


Full Circle

by sidhe_faerie



Series: Once Upon A Time Drabble Day/Hiatus Hijinks [20]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 12:25:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2547425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidhe_faerie/pseuds/sidhe_faerie





	Full Circle

** Full Circle **  
** Characters/Pairings: ** Emma/Neal, Henry  
 ** Rating: PG (abortion, adoption) **  
** Word Count:  ** 1132  
 ** Summary:  ** Emma made a decision she has to live with.  
 ** October Prompts: ** Fork in the Road, Running Away, Out Of Time, Frost 

Emma knew that she would have to make a hard choice as soon as she saw the positive result on the pregnancy test. This was the proverbial fork in the road for her. She knew that the choice she made at that moment would shape the rest of her life. 

The positive result was a shock but it wasn’t altogether unexpected. She and Neal had been lovers almost since the moment they had met. They had never planned to have a family or get married. They never really had that kind of commitment.   

Neal was gone now and Emma would have no future with him. She had to face that. Even if he hadn’t left her to be arrested in his place, she knew that he would have never wanted to be a father.   
Emma sat and thought about what she wanted do what and she actually could do. The list was short and it grew shorter as she thought about it. She could either give the baby up or she could terminate the pregnancy. 

Emma was not sure she wanted to be a mother. She knew one thing. She knew she was going to have the baby. There was no other choice she could make for her conscious to be clear. 

The only choice she had had left to make now was if she was going to keep the little life inside her. She knew she was going to be a mother but was she going to be a ‘mommy’?

Emma put her hand on her stomach and started to cry. She would love to keep the baby but she knew she had nothing to give this child but struggle and despair. She had no prospects and no way to get a good job to take care of them both. 

Emma knew what she had to do and it would tear her heart out to do it. She couldn’t be a mommy. She would have to give her baby up for adoption. It was all that she could do. She had to give her baby its best chance at a good life.  

With the decision made Emma had to make sure that the details were taken care of. She had to get the process started. 

Emma knew once she started the process of giving up her child for adoption she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t stop even if she changed her mind. She couldn’t ever change her mind.       

All of her life she had been running away from something. It used to be foster care but now it was motherhood. 

Emma asked herself a simple question. Am I running away because I’m scared?

Emma thought very long and hard on that question as her pregnancy progressed. Emma wavered between ‘yes’ and ‘no’ constantly. She had made the decision to put the baby up for adoption and she had to stick with it. 

Emma knew that she would always be running from something and that was not the best way to raise a child. She had to give the baby the one thing she never had: the best chance she could and that was a happy home. 

Emma signed the papers and tried to prepare herself for what she knew would be the worst heartbreak she would ever know. She wasn’t even sure she would be able to make it through. The pain of her breaking heart was going to be something she couldn’t run away from. 

Emma still had months to wait before she would give birth. It was hard not to get attached to the little life inside of her. She talked to her stomach and told the baby that she was sorry that she couldn’t keep it. She would get kicks and flutters in response.  

With each kick and movement, Emma got more attached and that was going to be a problem. She needed to separate herself from the baby but she couldn’t. She didn’t know how.

The day finally came when the reality of it all finally hit her. The contractions started and Emma knew she was out of time. She had to go through with the adoption. She had to give up her child. 

It was the hardest thing she had ever done. She knew if she held him or even looked at him she would want to keep him. So when the doctor asked her if she wanted to see the baby she looked away. 

Emma cried for days afterward. The heartbreak was even more unbearable than she thought it would be. She did the only thing she could do. When she was able, she ran away.

But things have a habit of catching up with you. Emma found out the night she opened the door and came face to face with her son. He brought all the pain and doubt she had been running from with him. 

There was no time to run and no way of trying to get out of the moment she was in. She had to face him and herself. 

Emma had to look at him this time. She looked at Henry and saw Neal. Everything she had felt about Neal came to the surface, love and hate. 

Then Emma remembered that the boy standing in front of her was not his father but the innocent child that used to move and kick inside her. All the love she had for him then came to the surface and pushed away Emma’s feelings for Neal.

Several months later when Emma was walking Henry to the bus one frosty morning she started to realize what she had really given up. She had given up the life she had always wanted for herself when she was in foster care. 

Henry was her child and she could have been his mother but fear and self-doubt took away took away her chance to be a family with him. 

Emma knew she would regret giving him away for the rest of her life even if she did it to give him his best chance. But did he get that best chance?

Emma never had a best chance that was why it was important that Henry have one. He did get a better life than she could have given him but the chance that Henry got was not the one she had envisioned for him. 

As they stepped on the frost covered leaves on the sidewalk Emma began to wonder what Henry thought. 

“Hey kid, are you happy?” Emma asked. 

Henry smiled at her. “Right now, I’m very happy.”  

“I mean are you happy with your life?” Emma clarified. 

Henry nodded. “I have everything I want right now.” 

Henry reached out and took Emma’s hand and held it as they walked. 

In that moment, Emma found some peace in her decision.   


End file.
